I came out as female by the light of an operating atomic pile. As in, standing over the pool of boron water staring at the Cerenkhov glow of a TRIGA class research reactor spooled up to 30% of its rated thermal power.

The operator was so proud of his new toy, and I was so happy to be read as the young woman I should be, that I didn't have the nerve to stand up to him as he carried on about how nuclear power was going to show "them there solar energy nuts." I bit my tongue, and didn't say a word about the portable solar still I built and used to camp in the desert outside our city.

If I close my eyes and remember, I can still hear him say that phrase in my mind, echoing over and over.

It still terrifies me.